World of Warcraft. MMORPG* Suckage. And Other Stories

A while back I saw an interesting diatribe on brokentoys.org (Lum the Mad's blog) about how it would be nice if there were a critical mass of gamers who wanted to play something other than mage / tank / healer games (pretty much every MMORPG out there, and any vaguely successful one, falls into this category) amd proposed some kind of amorphous global diplomacy thing which made no sense but had its heart in the right place.

I would actually settle for something far less ambitious -- a mage / tank / healer game that didn't suck.

(For those of you not accustomed to MMORPG jargon, a mage is someone who is fragile but does a lot of damage (usually from a distance); a tank is someone who can stand toe-to-toe with an enemy in a fight, not die, and be able to hold that enemy's attention; a healer is someone who makes wounds go away... Every major MMORPG to date, including those featuring superheroes and "science fiction" settings, is essentially designed along these lines. If you think of these three archetypes as forming a triangular spectrum (like a color gamut) every character option more or less falls somewhere on the triangle).

WoW (World of Warcraft) is shiney and new and we haven't started to comment on the suckage yet (aside from the obvious -- lag, crashes, and downtime), but there's still plenty of suckage to go around.

  1. As your level increases, content is doled out with a lot of hamburger's helper, in the form of tedium. I.e. instead of "go kill 20 mobs, collect 15 items, and come back for a reward" it's "go across the continent to fred, then go across to BFE, kill 200 mobs, collect 10 items, and then go to wilma (in BFE2) who sends you to barney (in BFE3) who gives you a not to take to betty (in BFE4) for your reward."

    This isn't clever. This isn't fun (not the fifteenth time, anyway). This is just EQ with better graphics and dialog boxes instead of /hail.

  2. The reason for the hamburger's helper is that if you gave people stuff at a decent rate, you'd run out of content. When you run out of content, people stop playing. When people stop playing, they eventually stop paying. Then you go broke.

Is there a solution to this dilemma?

I think there are several, and WoW intends to utilize one of them (by imitating DAoC) but not the others.

— Tonio Loewald,