Gertrude’s Bedchamber.(Enter HAMLET, to GERTRUDE.)
HAMLET: Oi! Slag!
GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!
POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.
HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?
(He stabs POLONIUS through the arras.)
HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.
From The Skinhead Hamlet (which I did not realize was written by Richard Curtis).
When the noted playwright George Bernard Shaw sent him two tickets to the opening night of his new play with a note that read: “Bring a friend, if you have one,” Churchill, not to be outdone, promptly wired back: “You and your play can go fuck yourselves.”
From National Lampoon’s The Wit of Winston Churchill.
Do not click these links if you’re easily offended by bad language.